trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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