speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
