I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
