i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
She's the barista slut.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
