When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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