We named our party play list daddy issues
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Sext me about skeletons
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
