I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
