oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
