that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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