as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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