We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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