Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
