he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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