Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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