Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just pee around me
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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