The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
