he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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