you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
