this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
My day in three words: secret purse cake
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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