i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
