how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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