I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
