Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
