make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
