thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
