Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
