When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
