There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
