she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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