Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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