come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I need moral support for this bender
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
