Do you still have your period?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
