ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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