mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
