I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
