You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
