the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
