I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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