He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
