I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
