if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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