hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
