We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
