Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
