we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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