I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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