I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
