What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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