My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
