just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
you made out with another girl for some wings
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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