We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
