I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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