I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
