Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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