They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
